Love is a big word, some hate it and some enjoy it. It can mean so much to one person and another may use it on an hourly basis. Love is an interesting word. Try defining it, I had a really hard time trying to do this for class this week. Love is one of the words that people can't really coin a perfect definition on it because it means so much and can be used so frequently. Instead of a definition, I came up with a list of things I think love entails.
Enjoying someones company
Wanting to make the other person better
Looking for ways to make the other person happy
Trying to improve yourself for that other person
Alright so obviously there are many things that could fall under this category, these are just a few that I felt were most important. As you can see I didn't mention anything that had to do with a physical driving side of love, I do not believe that is all love really can be. Do not get me wrong I think the physical side of love is very important, but I don't think that should be the main definition or driving force for loving someone. Just some food for thought for ya.
One of the most common questions I think all teenagers and college students finding themselves asking is "Is this really love?" or "Am I in love with this person?" I know I have found myself asking those same questions throughout high school relationships and college. There are many different types of love and that is what I would like to talk about next.
Agape is a service type of love. This is a love where you are focused on improving an others life.
Storge is the love that a parent has for a child. I do not have kids but this seems fitting to me that this is in its own category of love, I can't comprehend how much you must love someone you created.
Philia is brotherly love. This is the type of love I have for my best friends, we exchange personal information about each other and love each other in a friend sort of way.
Eros is the romantic, sexual, passionate love. This type of love is all based on emotions and feelings.
I found it interesting to look at all these types of love and think about the different people in my life that I have loved. The ultimate goal in a marriage is to have all these different types of love in your relationship. Agape, to always be looking to serve your spouse. Storge, to be protective of your spouse like you would a child. Philia, be your spouses best friend. Eros, be passionate and physically attracted to your spouse.
MY ADVICE FOR LOVE:
One of the most interesting studies we talked about this week in class was the more times a college aged women has been in love the harder it is for her to stay committed to someone and it effects the way she attaches to people. I would like to talk about this for a second. This hit me pretty hard as I have seen this in other people's lives, as well as my own. I was the type of girl that always seemed to have a pretty serious relationship, even in high school. Now I know that it is bad to have regrets and I try not to but that is one regret that I have in life. I wish so badly that I could have seen outside of high school and took a better look at the bigger picture. Don't get me wrong I dated really good guys usually and I have lots of great memories of high school and college but I would just like to offer some advice to girls and guys finding themselves in this situation. Let me first just tell you that you think its the end of the world if you don't seriously date someone in high school, news flash it really isn't. In fact I promise you it doesn't matter one bit. Serious dating seems like a good idea at the time, you think it is fun but when you really think about it, its dumb. I don't care what you say ( & yes I once would have argued that it doesn't matter because if you are in love with the person its alright) Here is the deal, serious dating is for people who are looking to get married. I was no where near ready to be married in high school but I treated my relationships unintentionally that way because that is just naturally flows that way. PLEASE BE CAREFUL OF THIS. The fact is for some people that works for them and I recognize some couples make it work (more props to them), but for most people that isn't the way our relationships should be at such a young immature age. Serious dating before I was really ready brought me mostly more sorrow then it did happiness. First of all you get so close to somebody because you think that is what you are suppose to do. You become emotionally intimate with them because you want to be close. But when you break up you feel completely lost. You are so hurt because you just told someone everything about you, you gave them a part of your heart, and yet they just crushed you. Everyone remembers how it feels to have your heartbroken or at least to get hurt by someone you care about. Serious dating before you are really ready just opens the barn doors for all this hurt to happen. It limits your opportunity to meet people, most people don't really want to be hanging out with someone that is super serious with a significant other. I always wonder how different my experience would have been if I would have gone on as many "just for fun" dates in high school as I did my first year of college. It was honestly a blast and really made me see what I had been missing that whole time. Just be cautious of giving your heart away to just anyone, some boys really only tell you what you want to hear. And if you are a girl I am telling you, once you meet Mr. Right, you are going to regret every wasting all those tears, thoughts and time on someone who really wasn't who you thought he would be for you. Just be careful out there is the dating world, take it from me you need to guard your heart UNTIL the time is right for you.
Take this all for what it is worth, this is technically like a half rant/half advice paragraph but oh well! Learn from my mistakes people!!!
As a final thought I would just like to encourage you to think about the types of love you have for the different people in your life. I would encourage you to work on growing a type of love that you are looking for. Remember the best way to receive what you want is to be what you want.
Thanks for reading and remember to spread L O V E today!
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