Family as a System

I am having a little bit of a hard time coming up with something fun to write about for this week. (We only had class one day this week and I really don't want to just regurgitate everything we discussed.) But the main idea of everything we talked about this week that really stuck with me was the idea of viewing the family as a system.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to talk to you a little bit about my family and the system we are. I come from a family with two parents + three siblings and I would like to tell you a little about each one really quick.

First we have the boss of the system, my dad. 5 things about him: He loves his ranch, fixes teeth for a living, in his spare time he enjoys inventing things, basically he is a walking sports trivia book (I am not even kidding he knows everything), loves being with his family

Next, we have the secretary of the boss, my mom. 5 things about her: She is an organized perfect stay-at-home-mom, plays the harp in her spare time, creates the most beautiful quilts and projects, loves watching her children do something they love, and makes the best food in the world!

I am the oldest child. But you guys already know a little about me so we will skip me.

The one and only boy of the family is next. 5 things about him: He is the most athletic kid I have ever seen, has a hidden talent for drawing (mostly just sports art of course), always looking for a party + is the life of it, is hard working money maker (the kid has 2 jobs while in high school), and has an eye for dressing very nicely.

The middle of the system is my sister. 5 things about her: She is the typical shy middle child to the outside viewers, loves to play tennis + is extremely talented at the harp, has the cutest giggle that makes the whole room start to laugh, is the smarty pants of the family (she only gets 4.0's) and enjoys creating pretty projects.

The finale of the system is my littlest sister. 5 things about her: She is best accident to happen to this family (nah just kidding we love her). She loves to read (and usually that is out loud), Miss Social of the house + always has friends over, she can play the guitar and sing like an angel, likes to keep us all in line, and is 12 going on 18.

This is my family + my husband at our wedding in August.

So now that you have a little background about the system I come from I would like to relate this to the family systems theory and the things I have learn.

Basically, family systems theory is just the idea of looking at the family as a whole system instead of just one person in the family. This theory is mostly used in therapy and helps family overcome problems within their systems. I can also see where this might be helpful though just for everyday knowledge of helping the family you are in now. As we discussed this theory one thing that really hit me is that the family has to work together as a team to accomplish its purpose. This also made me think about my religious beliefs. In the church we believe that God sent us here as families, I can't help but find this correlation interesting.

Within the family we talked about the different roles and rules that we have. I began to think about some of the roles my family played. For example, my dad is the breadwinner of my family and my mom is a stay at home mom, if for some reason they stopped doing their roles our family would fall apart. We wouldn't have an income and our house would be in complete disorder. Each of the siblings also has a role in the house, we do our chores, help each other out when we see the need, and we contribute to the well-being of our family. If some of us didn't do our roles then our family system would have a hard time function, I heard about this specifically when I left for college. My roles in the house were gone and so I picked up new roles as I lived farther away and the whole system has to adjust. But that's the beautiful thing about humans, we are adaptable.

Along with the roles of the family, we also have rules. This was interesting for me to think about the rules that we have in my family. Some are obvious rules but it was fun to think of some of the unstated rules that we just know in my family, like for example where everyone parks their cars and where everyone sits at the dinner table. These rules have never been verbally talked about but we just have established them in our system.

Alright so now that I just posted a super long post about all the things I learned about this week I hope by reading this you thought of some thing within your own family. The roles everyone plays, the different parts of your system and what they are good at, the different rules your family has and lastly the importance of your family working together to solve problems.

Thanks for reading!