Stress is literally my least favorite word. When I hear the word I just feel overwhelmed and uptight, it is the worst word in the human language. But nevertheless, stress is what we talked about this week in our classes. This blog post is a little hard for me to decide what direction I want to take. With this topic I feel like there is a million awful, sad things I could talk about but instead I would like to talk about some really cool insight I discovered as we talked in class.
Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people, we all know this to be true. I think we wouldn't be lying if we don't admit at least one time in our lives we have asked, "Why me?" This question seems to be normal to turn to when things aren't going as planned, which is very normal in life. I have seen so many families in my life go through very hard things that I would never wish upon my worst enemy, but the really cool thing I more often than not see with these families is that they come out of the affliction or trial stronger than ever. I know that sounds cliche and lame but I think there really is some truth to it. When you are in a longer term relationship with your significant other it is assumed that you will fight and have hard times, for me when I think about the hard times I have gone through with my husband it really strengthens my love for him and appreciation for our relationship. I take more pride in my relationship because I have worked hard to make it the way that it is. I think this is the same way with overcoming stress and crisis in the family.
I would like to share a story about my friend who I feel has a pretty tough hand of cards when it comes to family stress and crisis. My friend has been married for over 4 years and has been trying to get pregnant for the past 2 years. She was married in the temple to a good guy who came from a good family. A few years down the road her husbands entire family started to leave the church, all the siblings and the parents have decided to leave the Mormon church and joined an anti Mormon church basically. My friend and her husband have tried to remain strong as her in-laws have completely made fun of their beliefs and tried to persuade them to leave the Mormon church as well, often getting the husband pretty close. My friend is far away from her family and lives a block away from these in-laws, she is literally always with them which makes this situation that much harder for her. On top of all this she has been struggling to get pregnant for 2 years and has experienced 2 miscarriages. She would love to move if her husband would let them but knows that probably isn't an option right now. Although she is trying to do her best she has often broke down to me crying, saying she feels very alone and like she is barely keeping her head above water.
This is an example in my life I feel of bad things happening to good people, she is a great person and doesn't deserve this in my opinion. This was my view about this for quite a long time until we had this discussion in class. In class someone made a comment that they felt Heavenly Father would never give someone something they couldn't handle. (well, duh I have heard this before but just wait there is more coming) They also said they have a feeling that we all signed up for what was going to happen to us before coming down to earth. This statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been thinking about my friend a lot lately and suddenly it all made sense. She was given all these challenges because she knew in the pre-earth life that she was capable of handling all this. I had never thought of anything in this way before. I was shocked. This also means that everything I go through and I ask "Why me?" I also signed up for and I am capable of getting through it. I think this is a great message for us all to remember in family stress, we are capable of overcoming it because we signed up for this.
Although stress in family can be really hard and over whelming it is possible to overcome. Many families have great techniques for dealing with stress and crisis. I would love to hear what you and your family do! Please share!
Have a great day & thanks for reading!
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